I knew from the get-go that this is not an easy or relaxing job and there are difficult, difficult days.
As I've said before, I have great colleagues and superiors in this department so I'm really fine. But you have moments, and in these pockets of moments my level of 'fineness' unravels almost entirely.
1) The moment after you take a short nap after 7 hours of non-stop admissions & procedures; you wake up and internally whine, 'No, I cannot continue'. You come to the counter and see that there are 3 more cases waiting to be clerked, two of which aren't even BHT-ready yet, and you sink into one of those chairs behind the counter, put your head in your hands and close your eyes- never mind that there are patients and relatives who just arrived in front and can clearly see you.
I am glad no one has made me viral yet in those two minutes. I am glad they understand that I'm only human.
So I cajole myself into thinking, 'This too shall pass' and 'think of the pahala of seeing and trying to help these sick children and their parents' and 'it's okay, just two more cases' and get up, walk to the patients and attempt to sound friendly even though I feel like Death.
No matter what people say, there are moments where you have to motivate yourself by repeating cliched motivational things that may sound very egoistic.
2) You get a call from the lab/x-ray department/emergency department where they inherently tell you 'It's not my job, it's yours' in less obvious words.
This happens. People get tired and cranky and forget that other people get tired and cranky too. And not belonging to a certain place, it's easy to feel unattached and angry at others by assuming they're not doing their job as good as you are.
It's human. I'm human. I apologize, but telling me to come over and rectify something that is clearly not my job while I'm busy on the basis of 'YOU ordered this' is very irresponsible, especially when you use snarky tones. Perhaps if you were nicer I wouldn't be so angry.
If you are unable to hold the patient down for an x-ray because you're "not a relative", how come I am a candidate for holding the patient down? I am not the patient's relative; I am the patient's caregiver, just like you. And asking me to come during peak hours in a ward that is (ostensibly, to you) overflowing is really mean.
I was *this* close to shouting over the phone. Instead, I barely settled for huffed silences while you talked, and managed a very short 'We'll see later.'
Then I whined extraordinarily to the staff nurse who passed the call to me, who understood my cringing. And my colleagues, who shook their heads emphatically.
3) Patients imply that your team is not doing a good enough job.
Okay la I serve you right now, it's my job to be cordial.
And as a professional I cannot scold you; merely, advise strictly.
Deep breaths.
But when you talk about taxpayers money, hello, I pay taxes too. Please lah don't bring up the "taxpayers argument" with me, it's so cliche. And if you do, don't get surprised to see that angrily astounded face I might let slip. Especially if you're supposed to be educated.
Because the cost of treating you or your relatives is not at all nearly worth what you're "paying me".
I am amazed at my senior staff's ability to mask their anger. This is something we all need to practice as we practice medicine, make no mistake. You WILL get angry, but you WILL have to mask it- greatly!
Enough venting for this period. Now I need some sleep.
As I've said before, I have great colleagues and superiors in this department so I'm really fine. But you have moments, and in these pockets of moments my level of 'fineness' unravels almost entirely.
1) The moment after you take a short nap after 7 hours of non-stop admissions & procedures; you wake up and internally whine, 'No, I cannot continue'. You come to the counter and see that there are 3 more cases waiting to be clerked, two of which aren't even BHT-ready yet, and you sink into one of those chairs behind the counter, put your head in your hands and close your eyes- never mind that there are patients and relatives who just arrived in front and can clearly see you.
I am glad no one has made me viral yet in those two minutes. I am glad they understand that I'm only human.
So I cajole myself into thinking, 'This too shall pass' and 'think of the pahala of seeing and trying to help these sick children and their parents' and 'it's okay, just two more cases' and get up, walk to the patients and attempt to sound friendly even though I feel like Death.
No matter what people say, there are moments where you have to motivate yourself by repeating cliched motivational things that may sound very egoistic.
2) You get a call from the lab/x-ray department/emergency department where they inherently tell you 'It's not my job, it's yours' in less obvious words.
This happens. People get tired and cranky and forget that other people get tired and cranky too. And not belonging to a certain place, it's easy to feel unattached and angry at others by assuming they're not doing their job as good as you are.
It's human. I'm human. I apologize, but telling me to come over and rectify something that is clearly not my job while I'm busy on the basis of 'YOU ordered this' is very irresponsible, especially when you use snarky tones. Perhaps if you were nicer I wouldn't be so angry.
If you are unable to hold the patient down for an x-ray because you're "not a relative", how come I am a candidate for holding the patient down? I am not the patient's relative; I am the patient's caregiver, just like you. And asking me to come during peak hours in a ward that is (ostensibly, to you) overflowing is really mean.
I was *this* close to shouting over the phone. Instead, I barely settled for huffed silences while you talked, and managed a very short 'We'll see later.'
Then I whined extraordinarily to the staff nurse who passed the call to me, who understood my cringing. And my colleagues, who shook their heads emphatically.
3) Patients imply that your team is not doing a good enough job.
Okay la I serve you right now, it's my job to be cordial.
And as a professional I cannot scold you; merely, advise strictly.
Deep breaths.
But when you talk about taxpayers money, hello, I pay taxes too. Please lah don't bring up the "taxpayers argument" with me, it's so cliche. And if you do, don't get surprised to see that angrily astounded face I might let slip. Especially if you're supposed to be educated.
Because the cost of treating you or your relatives is not at all nearly worth what you're "paying me".
I am amazed at my senior staff's ability to mask their anger. This is something we all need to practice as we practice medicine, make no mistake. You WILL get angry, but you WILL have to mask it- greatly!
Enough venting for this period. Now I need some sleep.
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