"Dr, kenapa Dr tagging lagi? Dr dah pandai dah..."
Hehehe.
Occasional nice comments make my day.
You'd be surprised at how the smallest things can make your day when you feel downtrodden, and hold the lowest of the low rank in the food chain of the hospital (or at least department).
Because most of the time, comments are more like,
"Dr, takkan itu pun nak tanya saya?"
"Dr, tengok sendiri boleh tak?"
"Dr, bila nak buat *insert procedure here*?"
And all in very irritating tones.
And let's not get started on the snide remarks and outright humiliation one could get from one's bosses.
They- meaning *some* of these beloved human beings- can't see me sit and relax. They'll always ask me to do something.
Never mind that I've been working hours and hours longer than them. Never mind that they had time to take breakfast or lunch, and I didn't because my work started before either meal times and didn't stop.
But to take it personally is a waste, because had they given up on me entirely, they wouldn't call me to do anything at all. When you're so dysfunctional/lazy they give up on you, and even forget that you're working in the ward- or just ignore you altogether because they know you're too slow or tend to avoid doing things. So the fact that they keep asking you to do anything means they think you're capable of carrying it out.
Expect that they will scold you when you ask them how to perform something that, to them, seems basic. Some of them are just impatient- they'll come around when you prove that you are more capable. Or they won't, who cares- you're a HO and hopefully you won't be stuck with them for more than 4 months!
Today, I got so bloody pissed at a lot of things and it barely took all my effort to keep myself from outright shouting (I kind of snapped a little and my face might have shown it).
Then I got sad.
And then I got grateful & happy (it might have to do with the fact that I got to eat hehe).
This posting is turning me into a moody monster. It's awful. I pray I improve in terms of controlling my emotions. Pray for me.
Even the best and most patient of people have a breaking point. I've been very lucky because despite the meanness I have experienced, I could still find many kind, fun, and uplifting moments. But that doesn't mean that in that very dreary moment I could still feel unfiltered joy. It takes a lot of effort to think of life beyond that precise moment of horror.
You may think I'm writing for your sake.
Sometimes I think that too.
But I started this blog to remind myself of my moments in working life, and that means my personal good AND bad moments. I'm only human, and I'm far from perfect. I have ugly moments too. To whitewash them would be the opposite of my goal with this blog.
So forget about appearing like an exemplary HO.
This is the story of a normal HO, struggling with stupidly common HO issues like being bullied by SNs and bosses, and trying to be more competent in procedures that are easy theoretically, but actually really hard the first few times.
You may expect more blunder posts later, I think.
The best way to learn is to learn from others' mistakes and avoid them. I shall be your anonymous scapegoat when I can.
And I also get to remember how awkward I was, later in life!
~
Hehehe.
Occasional nice comments make my day.
You'd be surprised at how the smallest things can make your day when you feel downtrodden, and hold the lowest of the low rank in the food chain of the hospital (or at least department).
Because most of the time, comments are more like,
"Dr, takkan itu pun nak tanya saya?"
"Dr, tengok sendiri boleh tak?"
"Dr, bila nak buat *insert procedure here*?"
And all in very irritating tones.
And let's not get started on the snide remarks and outright humiliation one could get from one's bosses.
They- meaning *some* of these beloved human beings- can't see me sit and relax. They'll always ask me to do something.
Never mind that I've been working hours and hours longer than them. Never mind that they had time to take breakfast or lunch, and I didn't because my work started before either meal times and didn't stop.
But to take it personally is a waste, because had they given up on me entirely, they wouldn't call me to do anything at all. When you're so dysfunctional/lazy they give up on you, and even forget that you're working in the ward- or just ignore you altogether because they know you're too slow or tend to avoid doing things. So the fact that they keep asking you to do anything means they think you're capable of carrying it out.
Expect that they will scold you when you ask them how to perform something that, to them, seems basic. Some of them are just impatient- they'll come around when you prove that you are more capable. Or they won't, who cares- you're a HO and hopefully you won't be stuck with them for more than 4 months!
Today, I got so bloody pissed at a lot of things and it barely took all my effort to keep myself from outright shouting (I kind of snapped a little and my face might have shown it).
Then I got sad.
And then I got grateful & happy (it might have to do with the fact that I got to eat hehe).
This posting is turning me into a moody monster. It's awful. I pray I improve in terms of controlling my emotions. Pray for me.
Even the best and most patient of people have a breaking point. I've been very lucky because despite the meanness I have experienced, I could still find many kind, fun, and uplifting moments. But that doesn't mean that in that very dreary moment I could still feel unfiltered joy. It takes a lot of effort to think of life beyond that precise moment of horror.
You may think I'm writing for your sake.
Sometimes I think that too.
But I started this blog to remind myself of my moments in working life, and that means my personal good AND bad moments. I'm only human, and I'm far from perfect. I have ugly moments too. To whitewash them would be the opposite of my goal with this blog.
So forget about appearing like an exemplary HO.
This is the story of a normal HO, struggling with stupidly common HO issues like being bullied by SNs and bosses, and trying to be more competent in procedures that are easy theoretically, but actually really hard the first few times.
You may expect more blunder posts later, I think.
The best way to learn is to learn from others' mistakes and avoid them. I shall be your anonymous scapegoat when I can.
And I also get to remember how awkward I was, later in life!
~
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